Unconventional

“Alright you miserable piss stains, listen up,” the Sephiroth cosplayer commanded to the masses before him. “We have a special guest en route who will not take lightly to your shenanigans, cat calling, neck bearding or misogynistic behaviour. Keep your chode dicks in your cheeto covered pants and your mouths shut and we won’t have any problems.”

Excited laughter rolled through the hall and Sephiroth shot them a vicious scowl that immediately quieted them down.

“She isn’t known as the Queen of you fucking nerds for nothing so show some respect and treat her with all due courtesy. Now without further ado here is the girl who needs no introduction. Amanda Beaufort.”

All eyes turned to the back of the hall as Amanda entered in a whirlwind of fluorescent orange hair. With her drab coloured cargo pants, black half sleeved halter top and black gloves it was obvious who she was cosplaying to everyone in the theater. However it was her beautiful, wide open, green eyes that solidified the look.

“Holy crap, that’s the hottest Kim Possible I’ve ever seen,” a thousand desperate virgins squeed as one.

Sephiroth slapped his palm against his forehead and groaned, wondering how he was the only man in a sea of teenage boys trapped in aging bodies. Well that wasn’t entirely accurate there were also just as many girls fawning over Amanda and her pale, lithe body. When she was in fact in her early twenties she easily came across looking somewhere in her mid teens. It made her the most desirable girl at every convention and that was before people even got to see her sarcastic, dismissive nature.

The crowd parted before her as she made her way towards the stage. It was typical behaviour that they all wanted to touch her but if they did the cheetos wouldn’t be the only thing staining their pants. So they kept to a safe distance and ogled her petite body as the carpet developed an enormous puddle of drool.

She threw punches and dodged and weaved as she approached the stage but wasn’t dexterous enough to do any flips or somersaults. Not that it mattered everyone was totally in love with her from the first second anyway.

Sephiroth reached out to grab her hand and pull her onto the stage but she ignored his gesture and he remembered how much she hated physical contact.

She strode directly to the microphone placed one hand on her hip as she cocked them to the side. “Bow before your Queen, peasants,” she ordered.

Ninety nine percent of the crowd hit their knees in perfect synch sending a satisfying thump ringing through the hall. Those who remained standing still bowed their heads in deference and only Sephiroth laughed at her audacity.

As he approached she gave him a quizzical look as if she hadn’t even noticed him when she climbed onto the stage. “What’s the sitch?” she asked, covering the microphone.

“Just feed them some of your usual witticisms and make them feel special.”

“No big!” She uncovered the microphone and widened her eyes even further as she flicked her head and sent the orange wig dancing. Pointing at herself with both hands she smiled and said, “This is what happens when a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon reproduce.”

Sephiroth had to turn his back to stop himself from bursting into laughter. It could never be said that Amanda didn’t have an overabundance of self confidence to go with everything else.

“Marry me,” a prepubescent voice squeaked from the crowd.

Amanda’s face became instantly serious and she picked out the young man in the crowd who had proposed to her. “A Queen needs no man. She commands them.”

That was the last straw and Sephiroth burst into laughter as he removed himself from the stage. The crowd swallowed it all up however and the mass swooning could be heard as he hid behind the curtains.

Amanda had learned at a very early age that she could play any role. And the role she played best was Queen of the Nerds. The best thing about it was that nobody could dispute her claim to the throne. They were all followers and a beautiful girl telling them what to do was a fantasy they couldn’t deny.

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