Dad Powers

“Honey, I have something to tell you,” Caroline said with a look of concern and patted the couch beside her.

Jim hesitantly sat down, not used to their relationship taking a serious turn.

Caroline scooted over so their knees were touching as they sat on an angle facing each other the best they could. “We’re having a baby,” she said unable to hide the enormous grin that took over her face.

Jim launched off of the couch and punched his fist into the air as he screamed, “Oh yeah! Dad Powers baby.” He dragged Caroline from the couch and forced her to jump up and down with him as they half embraced.

“What are dad powers?” she asked when she finally managed to break free of his madness and back far enough away not to get dragged back into it.

Jim finally stopped leaping around, almost out of breath and stared at Caroline incredulously. “You’re kidding right?” he said and waited for her to shake her head and raise her eyebrows. “Whenever a man has his first child he receives what is known as Dad Powers. How have you not heard about this?”

“Maybe because you are insane. There is no such thing as dad powers.”

“Oh really? Then how do you explain all of the things that dads can do that other men just can’t?”

“Things like what?”

“Like superhuman reflexes. Have you ever seen a dad need to save his kid. They move like Superman without a seconds hesitation.”

Caroline stared into Jim’s eyes, a trick she used a lot to determine if he was lying, and couldn’t tell whether or not he was serious. She was still doubtful dad’s received any kind of powers they just became more alert to their surroundings knowing they had a child’s life they had to protect. “Alright, what other powers do you get?”

“Oh all kinds of great things. You gain the ability to make a pun out of anything. Don’t worry I won’t pun-ish you with a preview.”

Caroline groaned and slapped her forehead.

“You instantly become the best sportsman in your family. You gain the power of distraction; if the baby is crying you just steal his nose and bam now we’re laughing and having fun. Metabolism is no longer a crazy science that controls our lives, it will be gone like that and in no time I’ll be well on my way to playing Santa Claus at Christmas without a pillow stuffed under my shirt. Speaking of, that’s one of the best powers. The master of disguise. What one man can be the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa other than a dad.”

“I don’t think any of this is special powers Jim. You just change when you become a dad.”

“Exactly. People don’t just change without getting powers. Peter Parker was just a nerdy kid until he got his powers and he became Spiderman. He never would have changed without those powers. He couldn’t have just put on a suit and starting trying to fight crime he would have been killed the first day out there on the street.”

“That’s not exactly an accurate comparison.”

“I don’t see how it’s any different. After all with great power comes-”

“-Yeah I get it. I’m just so happy that you’re this excited to be a Dad. Come here you big goof.”

Jim grabbed Caroline in a bear hug, picking her up and before spinning around the room said, “But the best Dad Power of all is that I get to spend my life with the most beautiful mother in the world.”


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